The Goodbyes are suddenly uneasy

Ever since my brother passed away, every moment in life seems so momentary, so temporary. You just don't know how long the moment will last as if you're gasping for your last breath.

Mom left for a business trip tonight... just for a week. We hugged twice. The second time, she walked backwards waving at me as if it may be our last eye contact. The eye contact was deep, that "I love you if you don't seem again" look. I felt this lump in my throat. I never felt it before when we said goodbye even when I thought I may live overseas forever. Strangely, my mother also dated blank sheets with today's date and her signatures in both Arabic and English, and she randomly said "at least you can operate my bank account if I die or something". Then she hands me her safe keys too.

I only know what it's like to be in this house all alone for 10 minutes. I don't know how my mother lived here all alone for months after my younger brother passed away. I hope God transfers whatever pain there is left inside her to me.