Why bother educating women?
I doubt life would have been easier if we were not educated. If we look back in time, women have suffered in so many aspects due to lack of education. Women were a lot more oppressed and there is no question about it. Although education has liberated in so many ways, I’d agree and say it has worked against us too in some ways, however, I doubt we would have been content had we never knew what we missed out. For example, due to lack of education, women had to submit to sexual exploitation. I’m sure such women knew that there could be a better way of life.
It’s a slow process but it’s working for us. Just look around you. Sooner or later, dogmatic men will come to realize that this is the new way of life – take it or leave it. Omani women were living in the dark ages just a few decades away. Look at us now; female ministers, ambassadors, professors, entrepreneurs etc.
One word “insecurity”. Men who are insecure hold that against us because if they do not dominate us then they directly relate it to lack of manhood. I can’t think of any other answer.
Don’t we all wish it was that simple? I doubt it – to me, it would be more like you’re his sex machine, maid, cook and cleaner. He can talk to you with disrespect if he wishes, he can raise his hand on you if you open your gob, he can leave you alone at home and do his own thing when he is out with his buddies, he can marry another woman if he wishes and so forth…. Why? Because he knows you will have no place to go since he is the provider. There are some men who hate it when a woman can threaten to walk out on him because she’s unhappy. A lot of uneducated women can’t walk out the door because they have no place to go or because it’s a taboo or because they are afraid they will get no where in life without a man to provide her with her basic needs.
I'm not saying education is the only way - my grandmother got married at the age of 13, she's a self-educated woman who has lived life to the fullest but that's because ... thanks to my grandfather (allah yir7amu) treated her like a jewel with a lot of respect.Nevertheless, we can't argue against the fact that education is one of a woman's strongest weapon in this day and age.
Level of education does not have to be in parallel with society's expectations. If anything, I can support women's education (be it highschool, bachelor's degree, masters or PhD or post-doctoral) and I know from that respect I'm certainly conforming to my religion (Islam). It's one of our 12 duties as Muslims (as an obligation and as a right) to education. We are free to choose what level we want to be on. If all Omani women want to hold a PhD - would this mean they are not conforming to society?What is conforming to society? and what "within limits" as you stated above?
I'm not saying women without an education cannot be successful but let's be pragmatic about it. How often do you hear incredible stories? rarely. The market does not open many doors for uneducated people (be it men or women). This is reality. If anything, Oman is demanding more from their people.
Anyhow, back to the questioning of the relationship of educated women with men now a days that somehow we are cursed for being educated because it has introduced a new set of problems in relationships/marriages. I agree on that but nothing will change unless some men change the way they think because women are not going to stop working hard or obtaining an education. If men think we are fighting to be equal, that's not what it is at all, it's about fighting to be ourselves, fighting for our self-security, self-esteem and self worth. Fighting for our mental/emotional needs.
women who show their independence, they show material independence; not emotional independence whereas a lot of men only think that women are meant to be material dependant - they disregard a very important factor which is "emotional" security that independant women look for. A very secure man should thank his lucky stars that his wife doesn't run to him for $$ to buy make-up, clothes etc. He can always use his money in other ways (taking her out for dinner, buying her a gift or going away for a holiday). It's more deep for a woman to have an emotional relationship with her husband as opposed to a material relationship with her husband. I know a lot of women who are married to filthy rich men are so unhappy, what keeps them going is the fancy cars, designer clothes etc... but ask them about their relationship with their husband, they are miserable!
One of my co-workers makes twice as much as her husband and they have mutually agreed that he will babysit their baby while she works since she can bring more money to the home and to the child. Yeah, it seemed odd to me but it makes perfect sense if they want to give the child the best they can (a home, education etc) Life has become more demanding and there's a common pattern that a lot of women are depending on their education and on being independant. I think this should improve a relationship between man and woman. Unfortunately, some are damned for being independant but only by insecure men. Men who know their worth know they have more options than to just look for a young uneducated girl that they can control and instill fear in her.
A man can be pushed to be more successful by being with a successful woman. It's not about competition, it's about support and motivation. Men who deal with independant women need to know it's not about control anymore, it's about teamwork - there has to be a sense of spirit that a man is supporting his wife's success as she does the same. The formula is simple, men just need to accept or adapt to this new change.
...a woman has 12 duties (religious, social, moral etc duties) in Islam and one of them is that she obligated to get an education
It’s a slow process but it’s working for us. Just look around you. Sooner or later, dogmatic men will come to realize that this is the new way of life – take it or leave it. Omani women were living in the dark ages just a few decades away. Look at us now; female ministers, ambassadors, professors, entrepreneurs etc.
One word “insecurity”. Men who are insecure hold that against us because if they do not dominate us then they directly relate it to lack of manhood. I can’t think of any other answer.
Don’t we all wish it was that simple? I doubt it – to me, it would be more like you’re his sex machine, maid, cook and cleaner. He can talk to you with disrespect if he wishes, he can raise his hand on you if you open your gob, he can leave you alone at home and do his own thing when he is out with his buddies, he can marry another woman if he wishes and so forth…. Why? Because he knows you will have no place to go since he is the provider. There are some men who hate it when a woman can threaten to walk out on him because she’s unhappy. A lot of uneducated women can’t walk out the door because they have no place to go or because it’s a taboo or because they are afraid they will get no where in life without a man to provide her with her basic needs.
I'm not saying education is the only way - my grandmother got married at the age of 13, she's a self-educated woman who has lived life to the fullest but that's because ... thanks to my grandfather (allah yir7amu) treated her like a jewel with a lot of respect.Nevertheless, we can't argue against the fact that education is one of a woman's strongest weapon in this day and age.
Level of education does not have to be in parallel with society's expectations. If anything, I can support women's education (be it highschool, bachelor's degree, masters or PhD or post-doctoral) and I know from that respect I'm certainly conforming to my religion (Islam). It's one of our 12 duties as Muslims (as an obligation and as a right) to education. We are free to choose what level we want to be on. If all Omani women want to hold a PhD - would this mean they are not conforming to society?What is conforming to society? and what "within limits" as you stated above?
I'm not saying women without an education cannot be successful but let's be pragmatic about it. How often do you hear incredible stories? rarely. The market does not open many doors for uneducated people (be it men or women). This is reality. If anything, Oman is demanding more from their people.
Anyhow, back to the questioning of the relationship of educated women with men now a days that somehow we are cursed for being educated because it has introduced a new set of problems in relationships/marriages. I agree on that but nothing will change unless some men change the way they think because women are not going to stop working hard or obtaining an education. If men think we are fighting to be equal, that's not what it is at all, it's about fighting to be ourselves, fighting for our self-security, self-esteem and self worth. Fighting for our mental/emotional needs.
women who show their independence, they show material independence; not emotional independence whereas a lot of men only think that women are meant to be material dependant - they disregard a very important factor which is "emotional" security that independant women look for. A very secure man should thank his lucky stars that his wife doesn't run to him for $$ to buy make-up, clothes etc. He can always use his money in other ways (taking her out for dinner, buying her a gift or going away for a holiday). It's more deep for a woman to have an emotional relationship with her husband as opposed to a material relationship with her husband. I know a lot of women who are married to filthy rich men are so unhappy, what keeps them going is the fancy cars, designer clothes etc... but ask them about their relationship with their husband, they are miserable!
One of my co-workers makes twice as much as her husband and they have mutually agreed that he will babysit their baby while she works since she can bring more money to the home and to the child. Yeah, it seemed odd to me but it makes perfect sense if they want to give the child the best they can (a home, education etc) Life has become more demanding and there's a common pattern that a lot of women are depending on their education and on being independant. I think this should improve a relationship between man and woman. Unfortunately, some are damned for being independant but only by insecure men. Men who know their worth know they have more options than to just look for a young uneducated girl that they can control and instill fear in her.
A man can be pushed to be more successful by being with a successful woman. It's not about competition, it's about support and motivation. Men who deal with independant women need to know it's not about control anymore, it's about teamwork - there has to be a sense of spirit that a man is supporting his wife's success as she does the same. The formula is simple, men just need to accept or adapt to this new change.
...a woman has 12 duties (religious, social, moral etc duties) in Islam and one of them is that she obligated to get an education
posted by Color at 11:35 AM
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